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Welcome to online dating!  Time to create your profile…

First, a little about you:

Um. Hello.  I’m a writer…which sounds unemployed...  I work as a technical writer, and I write short stories and screenplays do creative writing in my free time.  I’m a bookworm, I love authors like Hemingway, Kerouac, Tolstoy… I also read a lot.

My favorite types of music are jazz and swing.  I also love classical and opera… yeah, that’s gonna go over well.

I’m a pretty good cook, and I love to try out new recipes but most of the time I just wing it, but it usually works out… usually.

I love enjoy really enjoy traveling.  I used to tour with a drum and bugle corps… basically a semi-pro marching band, well, sort of like a marching band, but not exactly… I’ve been on many road trips.  In the next year or two I’m planning on a trip to the International Book Festival in Scotland.

God, what else?  What doesn’t make me seem crazy? I don’t know… Honestly, I’m here because at the moment I’m out of other options and admitting I’ve never been in a relationship is embarrassing at my age.

I like dogs.

Now, a little about your match:

How should I know?  I thought there was supposed to be an algorithm for that…  I guess I’m looking for someone who is not a felon, bathes regularly, honest, kind, ambitious driven goal-oriented, literate, intellectual… intellectual, and has similar interests.

…or you know, someone who has interests, not just a list of generic values and an ‘I’m up for anything.’  Makes you sound like you’ve got about as much personality as a brick.

Also, someone who can write a decent message to introduce themselves.  We’ve never met, don’t send a text-ish “whats up?” or a creepy “hey, gorgeous, can I spoil you?”  No.  No, you may not.

Not looking for anything serious right away.  Please don’t feign affection until you’ve actually met me. This is not a Disney film, we’re just acquaintances.

God, this is awful. I should just delete the whole thing.

Hope to hear from you soon!