And lo, the mighty siren sang of pumpkin lattes.
Such bewitching melodies would have surely lured the sailors overboard, abandoning their diets, had Odysseus not ordered them to plug their ears with wax. But alas, a young oarsman did not heed the order, for he was briefly distracted by the entertainment of Tubed cats. Thus the siren’s song crept into his ears, igniting a most powerful desire.
Ignoring the cries of the mast-bound Odysseus, the oarsman leapt from his bench and took hold of the wheel. And though he was but a scrawny youth, he strained the rudder against the current with tremendous force – turning the entire ship towards its doom.
Realizing their peril, the other sailors tried to stop the oarsman – but nay, it was too late. The youth was already intoxicated by the siren’s frothy spice of pumpkin, the proof of his folly already posted to Facebook. Hashtag sorry-not-sorry indeed.
Odysseus’ grief was great, but seeing as they were already stopped, he saw no harm in ordering a mocha, which was much to his glorious preference. And yea, all the sailors did drink the fancy coffee of the siren, delaying their oft-detoured return to Ithaca by another twenty minutes. Odysseus prayed to the gods that Penelope would not mind.
The picture comes from Wiki Commons. Public domain image.